FAMILY SERMONS – Mircheal Jones

We are all born with certain basic needs which have to be met if we are to grow into well-balanced mature individuals. If too many of these needs remain unfilled, we become insecure and frustrated, beset with emotional problems. It is important that we understand these needs so that we can adequately provide for their fulfillment in our children.

Perhaps we can best illustrate the meaning of understanding by relating a story. A young girl was traveling alone by train with a tiny baby. Late into the night the baby continued to cry, disturbing the other passengers. One man asked indignantly, “Why can’t you keep your baby quiet? We can’t get any rest!”. The girl burst into tears and then sobbed out this tragic story. The baby’s parents had been killed in an auto accident only that morning. The young girl, the baby’s aunt, was taking the baby to live with her. Of course the infant was frightened to be in a strange place with a strange woman, and so refused to be comforted. At once the man’s indignant attitude changed. He became sympathetic and helpful, explaining the situation to the other passengers, who also expressed their sympathy. What brought about the change?? UNDERSTANDING.

When we fully understand the needs of our children, we are more capable of intelligently meeting these needs in a sympathetic, helpful way. Not every child will have the same needs at the same time. Just as some children require more food than other children, depending on age and circumstances, so some children will require more attention to their needs. We need to treat each child as an individual, with differing needs.

What are some of the basic needs that are common to all children; and all adults as well?

1. ORDER- Every child needs a semblance of order in his life. Even a tiny baby needs to the security which comes from a routine. We feed him according to schedule, bathe him, play with him, and cuddle him. He comes to expect this, and develops a sense of security from it.Later, we begin to enforce certain rules of conduct which enable the child to structure his life according to the demands of society, He learns that he must not spit on the floor, or kick when he is angry, or throw things out the window. He will soon learn that discipline is essential to getting along with others.

To be effective, discipline must be consistent…we must say what we mean and mean what we say. Empty threats are meaningless. Of course, we must be flexible. Sometimes it may be necessary for us to reverse a decision. In this case, we need to be able to say, “I was wrong about this, and we are going to change this rule”.

2. LOVE- Love is the ingredient which keeps discipline in balance. No child can receive too much love. “But won’t I spoil the child if I love him too much?” Definitely not. But we need to understand the meaning of love because love fulfils a basic needs of a child.

Love is not indulgence. Some parents give in to their child’s every whim. This is not love. Love will of necessity say “No” many times, if the thing desired is not for the good of the child.

Love does not shield from all pain. If your child comes to you with a splinter in his finger, you will proceed to remove it, though he may cry out in protest. You do it in love, though it may hurt the child.

Love is essential to the well being of every child. Without adequate love, children have been known to wither away and even die, when medically nothing was wrong.

3. SECURITY- A child needs to feel comfortable and safe. A sound family situation with plenty of love will provide for this security. He needs to know that he belongs, that he is wanted, that he will be cared for.

4. ADEQUACY- So many adults are emotionally crippled because they have never developed a sense of adequacy. If parents fail to allow their children to develop skills and abilities, physically and emotionally, they are depriving their children of a necessary sense of competence and accomplishment

5. SOCIAL APPROVAL- We all have an inner need to belong to a group, whether it be the Boy Scouts, a musical group, the 4-H club, or the Woman’s Missionary Society. We need to be approved by others and to experience a sense of being liked by others. While some people develop a hostile, anti-social type of personality, this often is a defense mechanism against the loneliness and insecurity they feel.Children need the approval of their parents, their teachers, and their peers. They need to be accepted. A child will often go to extremes to gain attention, even making themselves quite obnoxious. This is often a signal that some basic needs are unmet, and they are crying out for attention and approval.

6. SELF-ESTEEM- Self-acceptance and self- approval comes as a result of experiencing approval from others. An emotionally healthy person will have a good self-concept. He will feel that he is a worthwhile individual. This in not being overly proud. It is acceptance of yourself as God made you.

If you hate yourself, you are in effect insinuating that God did a poor job when He created you. You a re rebelling against the Creator as well as His creation. It is not wrong to feel important…you are important to your family and to God, as well as to others.

7. GROWTH- When we run a race, we try to win. We enter with the hope of succeeding. Life, too, demands successes along the way. We need to feel that we are maturing and growing, improving and succeeding; that we are reaching our goals and setting new and higher goals.

As you attempt to understand and meet your child’s needs, bear in mind that Children learn what they live: “If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn; if he lives with hostility, he learns to fight; if he lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy; if he lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty; if he lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient; if he lives with encouragement, he learns confidence; if he lives with praise, he learns appreciation; if he lives with fairness, he learns justice; if he lives with security, he learns to have faith; if he lives with approval, he learns to like himself; if he lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

DIVORCE

One of the greatest things in the world is a Christian Marriage. And one of the most awful blights on mankind is Divorce. God recognized and encouraged marriage (In fact, the Bible states that God is married to Israel [Jer 3:14] and that the Church is the Bride of Christ [II Cor 11:2]).

As God is vitally concerned that Christians stay true to Him, so He is concerned that man and wife stay together in Love. God’s original purposes for marriage were: (1) To Combat Loneliness (Gen 2:18), (2) To Reproduce (Gen 2:24), and (3) to symbolize God’s union with and love for man (Ep 5:31 32). Marriage is an honorable estate, a joy, and a responsibility (Couples make VOWS of faithfulness to each other at an alter but they are JOINED together by God and man is not to put them asunder- Matt 19:6). There are only 2 Bible ways out of Marriage- Death and Divorce. We’re going to look at the worst of the two- Divorce.

I. IS IT EVER RIGHT TO GET A DIVORCE?

A) According to Moses- Yes Deut 24:1 4

B) According to Christ- Matt 5:31 32, Matt 19:3 12, Mark 10:1 12 Yes; BUT ONLY FOR FORNICATION. (See Jer 3:8 where God’s reason for divorcing Israel was that they committed continued Adultery). Fornication= continued sexual immorality. “They twain shall be one flesh”; fornication seeks to destroy this union. Fornication is the sin against one’s own body (I Cor 6:15 18).

Divorce is allowed for Fornication- It is not Required! Divorce is not God’s plan. Divorce should be a last resort.

II. CAN A DIVORCED PERSON REMARRY?

A) Yes (Deut 24:1 4). A BIBLE Divorce is like never married- as if the mate died (Rom 7:1 4). [Adulterers were supposed to be stoned]

B) People who are separated for any reason other than fornication should remain that way seeking to reinstate their marriage (I Cor 7:10 16). Jesus said that to remarry without a Biblical Divorce is to commit adultery.

III. IF A DIVORCED PERSON REMARRIES AND THEN IS SAVED SHOULD HE GO BACK TO HIS FIRST WIFE?? No- Deut 24:4. The Samaritan woman was told to “Go and Sin no more”; not to return to her first husband.

RESULTS OF DIVORCE:

1) Adultery (Mark 10:11)

2. Misplaced Children (Mark 10:13 16)

3) Mess (Mike Jones 6:12)

4) Disqualified for Pastor or Deacon.You would not put a person into isolation because they had cancer. But it would disqualify them from doing jobs that require stamina.

WAYS TO KEEP FROM DIVORCE

1. Line of Authority- Christ, Man, Woman, Child

2. Love, for love covers a multitude of sins. Love never fails

3. Longsuffering- In sickness and in health TILL DEATH DO US PART

If you pray about who you marry, and follow God’s plan in marriage, then Divorce ought to be something you never have to worry about. Remember- at it’s best, Divorce is very bad.

FAMILY PRINCIPLES

When I went to the Bible to try to pick some “ideal” families to draw Principles to preach on I found myself “in a Pickle”. Adam’s oldest Son killed his brother and then lived like the world. Noah’s son brought a curse on all his family. David’s children were spoiled rotten. Moses’ grandson became a heathen priest; and nothing is said about the children of the main characters in the New Testament.

There are however, numerous things said about the family life of Abraham; and from these we are able to gain 3 very important Principles to guide Families. Each of these principles comes from a situation where God liked what Abraham was doing so much until he made a “Covenant” with him or expanded on the covenant He had already made. And that makes them VERY IMPORTANT. Let’s examine these principles so we can put them into practice in our own lives.

I. GOD HONORS TOTAL COMMITMENT- Gen 12: 1 3 And the Lord said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee: And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse them that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. Abraham was asked to leave his old way of life and, by faith, commit himself to God’s plan for his life. God honored his commitment to do so. This Total commitment is also:

A) Required in marriage- Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. We are living in the day of “trial” marriages and “live in lovers”—and wonder why God has allowed the plagues of Divorce, Disease, and Disobedience to wreck our families. God expects us to commit to each other until “death do us part”. That kind of Commitment in marriage is something God can, and will, honor.

B) Required in Serving Christ- Mark 8:34 And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Most people today think a Christian home is one in which the children are sent to Church every now and then and the parents aren’t murderers and robbers. There must be total Commitment to Christ if Christ is to be the Head of that Home so that home can head in the right direction.

II. God honors Training- GEN 18:17 19 And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

A) You reap what you sow- In Training, as well as in Affection and Relationship. We ought to determine that our Children will get the best Bible training possible; in the Home, in the Church, and in every day living. We ought to train our children to be affectionate; while warning them of the dangers of a sin sick world misusing them. And we ought to teach our children to build and maintain relationships so they can function in society and be the example God wants.

B) The Example of Jesus is very important- Luke 2:52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.Jesus developed MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, SPIRITUALLY, and SOCIALLY. God honors a training program that develops such a “Four Square” Person.

III. GOD HONORS TRUST- (Gen 22:-) When Abraham was called to Sacrifice Isaac he was brought to a moment of ultimate Trust. And this act of Trust delighted God.

A) WE must have Faith to trust God with our Children’s life- Heb 11:17 19 By faith Abraham, when he was tried, offered up Isaac: and he that had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, Of whom it was said, That in Isaac shall thy seed be called: Accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead; from whence also he received him in a figure. Abraham was willing for Isaac to die if that was what it took for him to be in God’s Will; yet how many parents push their children to accept THE PARENT’S plan instead of God’s Plan for the child’s life. Sadly, this is often done because the Parents don’t believe God’s Plan will be Profitable or Pleasurable.

When a Parent is unwilling to trust their child to God’s Plan then they are inviting trouble for themselves and for their child. You see, When Proverbs 22:6 says Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it; it is referring to training up a Child to understand what God wants them to do (And that means a Parent must learn the differences in their Children. One will long to read a book while the other will want to dig in the dirt. The book reader would probably make a poor farmer while the dirt digger would probably not enjoy being a full time student). When they find “The way they should go” then they will realize that that’s the only place they will find Peace and contentment in this life and they will have no desire to depart from it.

B) A Parent must have Faith to Trust God to do what you can’t do- When Isaac asked Abraham where the Lamb for the sacrifice was Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: (Gen 22:8). You may not always understand How God will do what He wants to do but your confidence in God will inspire the obedience of your family. You may make honest mistakes as a parent but because you are dedicated to God’s will and determined to obey God completely you know God will provide what you can’t.

Sometimes the most difficult, but the most needful, action a Parent can take is to wait on the porch while the prodigal wallows in the Hog Pen! Too many Parents today rush down into the mud and drag the child back home; but when they get them home they find the child has not yet “come to himself” so he goes back to the far country at every opportunity—and destroys the heart and home in the process.

Three Basic Principles: 1) God Honors Total Commitment, 2) God Honors Training, and 3) God Honors Trust. Yet when applied they will change you and your family.

The Application can only take place, however, after you Dedicate yourself to God. If you’re going to use these principles to build your family then you must get on the “Rock” so the storms of life won’t destroy your work. That Rock is Jesus, Do you know Him as your Personal Savior today?

THE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP

Life “drops us down a chimney of some house, lands us in the middle of a group of people, and then says, ‘Get along with them the best you can’!”

I. WHAT PARENTS OWE CHILDREN

A) Religious Instruction Deut 6:6 9 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. What have YOU taught your children about God this week??

B) Moral Discipline Prov 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.The child must be given both Physical and Mental Instructions-

1. Physical: Discipline means to “keep in order”. Guidelines must be given. Limits must be set. Obedience must be taught.

2. Mental: The Lessons of Proverbs- clean living, temperance, and industry must be stressed. Challenge the Mind but give it a foundation to hold to when negative and spurious thoughts attack.

C) Spiritual Nurturing Ep 6:4 And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

1. A Negative Admonition- parents are not to nag, bully, or browbeat their children so as to provoke them. Negative comments usually do not bring positive results (If you continually tell your child they’re bad, unable to learn, or without merit; they may prove you right)

2. A Positive Admonition- Bring them up: Give them time to Grow but give them something to grow with (Give them work until eventually 1/7 of their time is for leisure and the rest for work). “A home should be a place from which the child is equipped to go out, and to which he will always return. Some parents find it hard to grasp the fact that their basic duty is to enable the child to leave them and to live his own life. Smother love and Mother love can be very easily confused. If we bring up our children in such a way that they are eager to go out and glad to return then our task will be well done.”

D) Material Provision II Cor 12:14 the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. 1. Enough for now2. Plans for the future (inheritance)

E) Caring Love Tit 2:4 5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. A good home is more caught than taught. Love is not a word you say; it is a way you live.

II. WHAT CHILDREN OWE PARENTS- A Child has a Responsibility to:

A) Listen to their Parents- Prov 23:22 Harken to thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.Harken means “To pay attention to”. Having ears to hear you must hear.

B) Obey their Parents- Ep 6:1 3 Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. We are not just to hear but also to obey

C) Show consideration to Parents- Prov 23:22b Despise not thy mother when she is old.That will involve Love, thoughtfulness, and the sharing of material wealth.

THE FAMILY’S PRIORITIES Eph 5:22 – 6:4

Wives are to SUBMIT to and REVERENCE their Husbands. Husbands are to LOVE their wives as Christ loved the Church and as he loves his own body. Children are to OBEY their Parents in the Lord and to HONOR them. Parents are to PROPERLY DISCIPLINE (not Provoke) their Children while TRAINING them in the Nurture and admonition of the Lord.

I. THE WIFE

A) SUBMIT (The Greek word means to yield to the authority of an equal) as unto the Lord- in order for this to happen there must be Trust and Faith. There are 2 examples given:

1. The husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church-As the Body of Christ looks to the Head for direction and nourishment so the wife should look to the Husband. (The husband then must lead so the wife will have direction and supply the nourishment necessary for the body to develop and stay healthy). If the wife knows that her submitting is a way of developing and having her needs met then she can do so with zest instead of anger

2. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands. The Church recognizes the authority of Christ as she works for His glory; even so the wife submits to the authority of the husband as she seeks to build him up (realizing that by building up her husband she is actually helping herself).

B) REVERENCE (Greek- to be in awe of) her Husband- In order for the man to function properly he needs RESPECT (The main thing God requires of his people). Prov 31:23 says that the husband of a virtuous woman is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. A wife is to Build up her husband, not destroy his ego and energy by constantly belittling him and his work. So the Wife’s Priorities must be to Recognize her place in the Family and Respect her husband for she knows that by building up her husband she is in reality building up her entire family.

II. THE CHILDREN

A) OBEY (Greek- Submit to a higher power) their Parents in the Lord. Children must accept the fact that their parents may not always be right; and it may seem as if sometimes they don’t understand but they are always Responsible and must be obeyed (Mark Twain said that when he was 14 he thought his parents were very dumb but by the time he reached 30 their intellect had improved dramatically). A rebellious spirit in a child will affect them all their life and must be dealt with.

B) HONOR your Parents. 2 Promises are given:

1. It may be well with you here

2. You may live long on the earth

The Children’s Priorities must be to OBEY their parents and to HONOR their parents.

III. HUSBANDS

A) LOVE their wife

1. As Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it. Willing to SACRIFICE for her in order to maintain her purity and preciousness.

2. As he loves his own body- He nourishes (Feeds) and cherishes (makes feel special).

B) TRAIN their Children

1. Negatively, they are not to Provoke (drive to anger) their children. This means reasonable, responsible discipline and guidelines.

2. Positively, they are to Train them up in the Nurture (Things that build them up) and Admonition (warnings about danger) of the Lord.

Many fathers have abdicated the Discipline and Discipleship of their Children to the Wives. This ought not so to be.

A good example of a family that had it’s priorities right is Abraham’s Family:

1. The Husband- Abraham was respected by God because he trained his Children- GEN 18:17 19 And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

2. The Wife- Sarah- I Pet 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

3. The Child- Isaac- Willing to die at his father’s command

So the Wife has a responsible to build up her husband and her family by accepting her place and respecting her husband. The Children have the responsibility of Obeying and Honoring their Parents. And the Husbands have the Responsibility of Loving their wife and training their children. These are God given requirements for a proper home life- if they are ignored or disregarded then the family will suffer accordingly. If they are heeded then the family will function as the unit God intended.

These Priorities are NOT NORMAL- They can only be maintained if the members of the family are submitted to the Lord for Salvation and leadership. The “Flesh” will rebel against yielding it’s rights for the good of others but the Spirit controlled Christian will find real Joy and Peace in working in their place in the family.

THE FAMILY’S PROBLEMS Prov 18:21 24

I. COMMUNICATIONS

A) Lack of Communication about

1. Problems- “toothpaste”- Little foxes that spoil the vine

2. Personality- morning person vs evening person

3. Personal Needs- Everyone needs to hear “I Love You” regularly. Everyone needs a little “space” sometimes. [Beware the “Martyr” complex that communicated with sighs and groans instead of saying, “I need some time to myself”].

B) Too much “Communication”-

1. Fighting- Never fight with deadly weapons- words (I Never Loved You, You’re so sloppy)

2. “Feelings”- Trying to analyze every feeling or circumstanceleads to misunderstanding (My wife and I can say as much with a touch sometimes as with a book of words).

PRO 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

3. Forcing Communication- Trying to “nag” or embarrass someone into doing what you think they ought to do. PRO 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

II. CONSISTENCE

A) Desire – Desire in Youth- PRO 6:23 29 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? So he that goeth in to his neighbor’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

-Desire for Adults (See I Cor 7:) PRO 5:18 20 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

B) Development- Personal and family growth. Don’t allow your family to “stagnate” around a TV or in a rut. Encourage each other to grow and develop

C) Discipline- Set known boundaries, Name definite punishments

III. CASH

A) Love of $ above Family

B) Shortage of- Debt, Doing without

C) Control of- 2 paycheck families, allowance

ANSWER to your Family’s Problems:

Family Altar- Yield Heart to God’s control and Plan

Bible Principles- Not ever Tom, Dick, and Harry with a new plan

Commitment to God- Common foundation, common faith

THE FAMILY’S PURPOSE Gen 1:27 28 2:15 25

I. THE REASON FOR A FAMILYGen 1:27 28

A) Repopulate the earth

1. The Primary Purpose of the Family is Reproduction, not Pleasure. Ps 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (Many many men are remembered in the Scriptures simply because they “begat” children!). Therefore we must focus on our Family instead of our fortunes. [This means the Sex drive is God given and good when used in the boundaries of the Family. It is part of the “Pull” toward establishing a Family– young people need to be taught that it’s not wrong to have sexual feelings but that these feelings are to establish the Family; not encourage their fantasies or be made an instrument of selfish Pleasure (This would help them deal with Pornography, homosexuals, “Casual” sex, etc)

2. God’s Battle with Satan involves man repopulating the earth instead of God creating a vast throng. Every child is an opportunity for God or a defeat by the Devil (With a battle like that going on you had better seek God’s direction and guidance).

B) Subdue- Have dominion over (Bring under control). God has made us “Masters of the Earth”. That means we can’t abuse or misuse its resources. Intellect, Industry, and energy are required.

II. THE RESPONSIBILITY OF A FAMILY Gen 2:15 17

A) Dress- Tend the Garden. Some families raise crops while others raise beautiful flowers; some are Pruners while some are Planters, but all must realize their goal is to use the earth’s resources wisely and productively. (Drugs do harm when used by people but God probably has a useful and needful purpose for them if it were only sought out). What are YOU doing with the resources God has entrusted to you?? When God walks thru your Garden is it a Garden or a Garbage heap??

B) Keep (Guard) against take over by Satan. Satan tries to take over our Minds, our Morals, and our Mission (by diverting us into fighting other “farmers” instead of pulling weeds). Jesus said the main “weeds” we deal with are the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things that enter in and choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful. (Mark 4:19)

How are you guarding your family’s Minds from Satan’s Attack??? How are you guarding your family’s Morals against Satan’s Attack??

C) Know the Limits- Need Boundaries. Parents responsibilities include showing their children the limits and then punishing them if they exceed them.

People have limits- No one likes to be nagged, bullied, or usedSituation have limits- Do your children know the rules of courting, of Competition, of Compassion

III. THE REQUIREMENTS OF A FAMILY Gen 2:18 25

A) Companion- Not animal to work for, not man to be friends with, not God to worship, but a Woman to love and share with. I Cor 11:8-9 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. Jesus said the ability to remain single is the exception instead of the rule- Matt 19:11 12 Jesus said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb; and there are some eunuchs, which were make eunuchs of men: and there be some eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

ECC 4:9 12 list 4 good reasons we need companionship Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

1. “a good reward for their labor”- Sharing the joys

2. “if they fall, one helps the other”- Sharing the Troubles

3. “two together have heat”- Sustaining each other

4. “two shall withstand”- Strengthen each other

A Companion should be PRAYED for; and sought with God’s direction and with Common Sense (See the example of Isaac’s bride in Gen 24). Religious Differences, Family Differences, Social Differences, and Personal Differences should be examined in the light of day; not the glow of Passion

B) Family Unit- Leave father and mother. Like cells in a body the Lord has provided that we divide and multiply. This allows each “block” to strength the entire Body while maintaining its part.

God cares about Families; He wants them to prosper and be at Peace. But you can’t be at Peace with your family if you’re not at peace with God, You can’t ask your wife to submit to you if you are not willing to submit to God, you can’t ask your children to obey you if you won’t obey God.

GROWING UP FOR GOD Luke 2:39 52

Parents are often puzzled about how to raise their children for the Lord and they wish they had a “Guide Book” to help them. The Bible has a lot of Principles that will help the Parent make the right decisions but the greatest Example is that of the Lord Jesus himself.

A few Observations:

1. The proper place (location) for the child is important- God wanted Christ raised in Nazareth, not Jerusalem or Bethlehem, so He arranged for him to be driven to Egypt and then back to Nazareth.

2. Financial security is not necessary for proper growth-

a) The offering Mary and Joseph gave when Jesus was presented at the Temple was the least expensive one, indicating the poverty of the family.

b) A carpenter is a small town such as Nazareth would not make much.

c) Joseph is not mentioned after Christ is 12 so we assume he died before Christ was 30 and the family lost its main “bread winner”.

3. Godly Living by the Parents is needful:

a) His parents went to Jerusalem each year for the Passover (vs 41).

b) Mary was called “Highly favored” by the angel (1:28),

c) Joseph was called a “just” man (Mt 1:19).

Do you pray about WHERE and HOW you live?? Do you think it’s more important to let the Child have the latest toys instead of your care and attention?

I. BEFORE 12 vs 40 He grew, waxed strong in spirit, was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.

1. Grew- Proper food, exercise, home care, etc.

2. Waxed strong in Spirit- He knew the Word and Will of God vs 49

3. Filled with Wisdom- Educated (Jesus knew at least 3 languages: He read from Hebrew scrolls, talked in Aramaic, and held a conversation with Pilate in Greek).

4. Grace of God was upon him- God helped his parents raise Him!!

II. JESUS AT 12- He had had his Bar Mitzvah and was now a “Son of the Law”. This meant he was now to take an active part in discussing the scriptures.

–He was interested in learning from the scholars at the temple

–His understanding astonished the doctors at the temple

–He realized at this early age the need of being about the Father’s business.

(He was so usually obedient that his parents just assumed he was with them in the crowd when they left Jerusalem.

III. JESUS FROM 12 30 He lived in Nazareth and was subject to his Parents (Even though they did not have as clear an understanding of His purpose as He did !!!). He increased in:

1. Wisdom- Mental Maturity (Paid attention to what He saw- Studied

2. Stature- Physical maturity (Played, worked, etc)

3. Favor with God- Spiritual Maturity (Studied the Word; it was needed when he began his ministry and he was tempted. He was regular in “Church” (Luke 4:16)

4. Favor with man- Social Maturity (able to “mingle” with people. His first miracle was at a Wedding feast. He often had “fellowship suppers with friends and disciples)

Today we need to help each child realize that God has a plan for their life; help them develop mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually; and look to God for the help needed to raise them right.

PARENTS NEED TO REALIZE that they are new at this “game” also. You must learn in order to teach.

And always Remember that even Good Parents can raise Bad Children:

Adam- Cain killed Abel

Noah- One Child so bad until he had to curse his grandchild

Abraham- Ishmael had to be sent away from home

David- One son raped his sister. Another tried to take the kingdom.

Even God’s Children give Him problems! (Remember that Mary and Joseph reprimanded Jesus for staying in the Temple)

Because of this Defect you need:

A) Discipline-

B) Diligence-

C) Dependence on God- Ps 127:1 Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.

6 RULES FOR DEALING WITH A STRONG WILLED CHILD Rev James Dobson

1. Define the Boundaries before enforcement.

A) Known Boundary- You may eat of every tree in the garden EXCEPT the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

B) Known Punishment- The day you eat thereof you shall surely die

2. When defiantly challenged respond with confident decisiveness.

Let the Child know they are being punished for breaking the rules; and not because it’s the “whim” of the parent. Consistency is the Key.

3. Distinguish between willful defiance and childish irresponsibility- Was there INTENT to do wrong and defy authority- Accidently knock over a glass of water versus deliberated knock over a glass of water.

4. Reassure and teach AFTER the Confrontation- Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. Use the time FOLLOWING the punishment to show love and teach lessons.

5. Avoid impossible demands- a child is not a grown-up. The child must have the ability to make some mistakes in order to learn. It’s NORMAL for a child to want to run and play and “see what makes something tick”.

6. Let Love be your Guide.

A) Your Child is not Someone Else’s child- They that measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves among themselves are not wise II Cor 10:12. One child can be rebuked with a word while another must have the whip. One child can make all “A”s with ease while another can barely make “C”s.

B) Remember that Leniency is not always Love- For whom the lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth Heb 12:6. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes Prov 13:24

A FATHER’S RESPONSIBILITY

Gen 18:17 19 Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Have you ever noticed that on Mother’s day we tell Mothers how great they are and on Father’s day we tell Father’s what they need to do to be great Fathers-it’s almost as if a Mother “automatically” becomes great while a Father must continually work at it!!

There are a number of “description” given of a Father. A father is:

-a person who growls when he feels good and laughs very loud when he’s scared.

-a person who gets very angry when the school grades aren’t as good as he thinks they should be.

-a person who hurries away from the breakfast table, off to the arena which is sometimes called an office. There, with calloused, practiced hands he tackles the dragon with three heads: weariness, work, and monotony.

-a person who gives his daughter to a man who isn’t nearly good enough so he can have grandchildren that are better than anyone else’s

A Dad is a fellow who has replaced the currency in his wallet with snapshots of his family. He Leave his parents, Learns his children, leads his home, and He Loves for his wife- As Christ loved the Church, As his own body.

Someone has said (and I believe it is true) that “A Boy loves his mother, but he follows his father.” That places a tremendous responsibility on Fathers. Let’s look at a few of them:

1) THE PROVIDER– The Father is charged with providing for the family. Paul says that if a man will not provide for his own he has denied the faith and is worst than an Infidel. He told the Thessalonians that if a man would not work neither should he eat. It is the responsibility of the Father to provide food and shelter for his family.

The entrance of sin into life meant that man had to earn his living by the sweat of his brow. This turned work into a JOB instead of a JOY. But then God gave us a “Two edged sword” to allow us to turn our labor into Joy again.

A) The Privilege of Providing for a Family- This meets some deep inner need of man and makes him feel complete.

B) The New Birth- It is the presence of Christ in a man’s heart that changes work from wearisome into wonderful. Matt 11:28 30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

2) THE PROTECTOR-Families need an Authority Figure. The lack of such a Figure can be seen in today’s society: Suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, and sexual promiscuity are epidemic among teenagers. An estimated 20 teens attempt to end their lives every 30 minutes. Approximately 685 teens become drug users ever 30 minutes. Some 23 teenage girls have abortions every 30 minutes. More than 3 million American teenagers have been treated for alcoholism since 1980. About 9,000 teenagers are killed each year while driving drunk.

A) Fathers have to be worthy of, and accept that, responsibility. A man inherits some respect but most of it has to be earned by consistent living.

B) Wives are commanded by God to give this respect to the husband- Eph 5:22, 33 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. the wife see that she reverence her husband.

3) THE PUNISHER– Prov 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.Never punish your child when YOU ARE angry- you’re not punishing them to satisfy your Pride but for their good. Compliment and criticize your child’s behavior–not the child. (EXAMPLE- A Minister’s son had played hokey from school for 3 days. When he was caught his father told him that he was going to punish him equal to the crime so he banished him to the attic of the parsonage for 3 days where all he had was a bed and 3 meals. After supper when the minister tried to lay down all he could think of was his son all alone in the attic so he climbed the stairs and found his son wide awake. They hugged and then lay down together to spend the night. The next two nights were the same. Just like God this father shared the punishment with the “sinner”).

4) THE PATTERN– A man was crossing a field to a tavern one day when he looked behind him and saw his son. “Look dad”, the boy exclaimed. “I’m following in your footsteps”. The dad immediately turned around and went back home.One congregation found that where both parents are faithful to the Lord 93% of the kids remain faithful. If one parent was faithful the figure dropped to 73%. When both parents were only moderately faithful then only 53% of the young people remained faithful and when both parents were only occasional attenders the figure dropped to 6%. These statistics speak a loud and clear message. Your children will follow you leading.

5) THE PRIEST– DEU 6:4 9 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Fathers, Your responsibilities are awesome. You need help. The Heavenly Father wants to enable you to be the Father you should be. Commit yourself to him today.

MOSES’ MOTHER Exodus 2:1 10

Almost as if it were by accident the biblical records reveal the fact that their names were Amram and Jochebed (They are not even names until Exodus 6:20). They were slaves. For a honeymoon they ground on with their dismal toil with welts on their backs from the lashes of their taskmasters. Their home was a slave’s cabin in the land of Egypt. When the years of cruel adversity had ground them through to the last ounce of their endurance they died and were thrown into unmarked graves. A short and simple life story copied a thousand times over during this period of time.

But there was something special about these two. They became the parents of three children:

1) Miriam, the eldest, became a sweet singer, a poetess and eventually the fountain head of the poetry and song of Israel.

2) Aaron grew up to be a great orator, a persuader of men and a man of God, father of the Priesthood which was to lift Israel and the whole human race Godward.

3) Moses, though born into the world under the curse of the king, became the lawgiver, the liberator, and the first prophet of his people. It is this man Moses, that even today, is honored by the 3 main religions in the world- Moslem, Jews, and Christians.

Today I want us to examine some of the characteristics of this great man’s mother and see if we can find some Principles and Practical applications that will enable us to be the parents that we should be in these difficult days.

1. Her Love was greater than the Law- Heb 11:23 By faith Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents, because they saw he was a proper child; and they were not afraid of the king’s commandment. Moses’ Mother was willing to risk her own life because of her love for her son [Abortion was not only allowed by the law but demanded by the law- a recent study of teens shows that they are 4 times as likely to commit suicide if they have had an abortion! By the way, Studies have shown that 91% of teen girls who begin dating by the age of 12 have had sex by graduation compared to only 20% who wait until age 16 to begin dating.]

Love cannot be demanded by the Law but comes naturally. It also must be developed. A Mother loves her Children when they are born but that love grows as she holds them and cares for them. Love is greater than the Law in Salvation- the Law said we should Die but Love put Christ on the Cross that we might live.

2. Her Faith was greater than the circumstances- After 3 months he could no longer be hid so she made him a little boat and put him among the bulrushes to see what would happen. Many a child is born in a home or nation where their outlook is very dim- yet God can conquer the circumstances- A brilliant American student to wealthy parents fell victim of infidelity to God, and turned his back on his early Christian training. One day he was so thoroughly dissatisfied with himself that he remarked to his mother, “I am tired of it all. I am going to leave and will not bother you anymore.”. She followed him to the door and pled with him and wept over him. Then she gave him her final word, “My boy, when you come to the darkest hour of all, and everything seems lost, if you will honestly call on your mother’s God, He will not fail you.”

Out into the darkness he went, His sin, particularly his infidelity, was driving him swiftly to destruction. Down, down he went in his headlong, reckless course, until he felt he could endure it no longer. In a hotel in a certain town, 425 miles from home, he decided to commit suicide. Wearied with his sinful life, he got out of bed at an early hour and prepared to end his life. He said to himself, “I’ll bring to an end this farce called ‘human life.'”

Just then, there flashed across his memory the last words of his dear mother before he left home years before: “My boy, when you come to the darkest hour of all and everything seems lost, if you will honestly call on your mother’s God, He will not fail you.” A power gripped him, restraining him and bringing him to his knees to pray thus: “O God of my mother, if there is such a Being, I want light. And if Thou wilt give it, no matter how, I will follow it.” God shone into his darkened mind, broke down his stubborn will, and without hesitation he met the terms of the Gospel by faith and claimed Christ as His Savior.

His first thought was to return to his home and tell his mother, To his amazement he saw his mother walking down the garden path to meet him with smiling face and tears, and she exclaimed, “O my son, I know why you are back home. You have found the Lord, for He has told me.” This young man became the well known evangelist R A Torrey, who was used of God to win many souls to Christ in many lands. He himself was won to Christ by His mother’s love.

A word of caution: Many of you are faced with difficult circumstances but God is greater than your Problems- just don’t use God for a “Cop out” [Example of the man who asked God to knock him off the stump before he would believe but the preacher did it for him!]. Prayer is important but so are Principles backed up with punishment.

3. Her Foundation was greater than Pharaoh’s Funds- Mothers write on the hearts of their children what the world’s rough hand cannot erase. Heb 11:24 26 By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of pharaoh’s daughter; choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season; Esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he had respect unto the recompense of the reward.

She only had a few years to instill into this boy the values and teachings that would shape him for life- and she did so. Today’s parents must accept the fact that their children are going to face many trials and temptations in life and if they don’t get a solid base then they’ll be bowled over. That’s why we stress the importance of Salvation, Church attendance, and Christian training.

MOTHER MOMENTS

A Mother is an Example and a Mother is an Encourager

A CONCERNED MOTHER-Moses’s Mom committed him to the River to save his life.

A COMMITTED MOTHER-Samuel’s Mom committed him to the Temple to save his nation

A COVETOUS MOTHER-Salome (Mother of James and John) wanted her son to have the main seats in the kingdom.

A CONVERTED MOTHER- Mary Magdalene Mk 16:9

MOTHER KNOWS

No one knows of the work it makes

To keep the home together;

Nobody knows the steps it takes,

Nobody knows but Mother.

Nobody knows the lessons taught

Of loving one another;

Nobody knows the patience sought,

Nobody knows but Mother.

Selected

A MOTHER CALLED TO PREACH

At the close of one of his evangelistic campaigns, D L Moody was approached by an enthusiastic woman who insisted that God had called her to preach the Gospel. Moody replied that he thought it was wonderful that she could discern God’s will. Then he asked her about her family at home. She replied that she had a husband and 11 children.

Moody exclaimed, “Then thank the Lord, Madam, for He has not only called you to preach, but He has already given you a congregation!”

PORTRAIT OF A MOTHER

A mother can be almost any size or age, but she will not admit to anything over 30. She has soft hands and smells good. A mother likes new dresses, music, a clean house, her children’s kisses, an automatic washer, and Daddy.

A mother does not like having her children sick, muddy feet, temper tantrums, loud noises, or bad report cards. She can read a thermometer (much to the amazement of Daddy) and like magic, can kiss a hurt away. She can also bake cakes and pies, but likes to see her children eat vegetables.

A mother can stuff a fat baby into a snowsuit in seconds and can kiss little faces and make them smile. She is underpaid, has long hours, and gets very little rest. She worries too much about her children. And no matter how old they are, she still likes to think of them as her little babies.

A mother is the guardian angel of the family, the queen, the tender hand of love. She is the best friend anyone ever had.

What Wives need from their husbands:

1.Security

Recognize this basic need

Be consistently supportive

Be present at crucial times

Act wisely in solving family problems

Talk to her about simple everyday matters

Seek to know her; really know her; so he can meet her needs – If she lacked love as a child, she may need a double dose of affection. If she came from a poor family, she may become a spendthrift.

A good husband will seek to fulfill his responsibilities rather than insist on being pampered constantly.

2.Thoughtfulness (Does this involve expensive gifts, a nice home, car?). Here are some Suggestions that are not costly:

Be thoughtful in little things it goes a long way.

Bring home an occasional surprise such as a favorite candy bar, a card, a book

Remember her on special occasions

Give her a break from the children

Help around the house if she is under a lot of stress

Be considerate of her likes and dislikes- If she fishes with you even though she doesn’t like fishing, do something with her that she enjoys.

Find ways to praise her for things she does well

Let her feel needed as a part of your life

3.Leadership in the Home

As a leader the husband must plan, make decisions, organize, delegate authority and supervise activity.

Be more than a spectator in the home who watches and reacts to what is happening. When this happens he loses control and becomes frustrated and critical. Then it becomes easier to work late or have other things to do away from home.

It’s important to sit down with his wife to plan a budget, plan social activities. Most important of all he should plan spiritual activities, taking the leading role. (Side note:He can’t do this when he comes home, reads the paper, eats and then watches TV until bedtime)

4.To have children and provide them with a good environment.

A sensitive husband will do all he can to keep the house maintained.

5. Love (not listed in order of importance). Eph. 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also lovedthe church, and gave himself for it.” Just as instructions to wives to be submissive to husbands is unconditional so husbands are to love their wives unconditionally. This means their love is not based on whether their wife is beautiful, a good homemaker, or a Christian.

He should look out for her physical well being, even if it means he sacrifices or gives his own life to protect her.

He will do what he can to provide his wife’s needs and desires. Love is more than a feeling; it is a mental attitude that prevails. Love is meeting needs.

Jesus’ love for the church is the example to follow.

What Mothers need from their children:

1.RESPECT!!

This is taught by example parents showing respect for each other, etc.

must be required from children consistently

2.Responsibility,

Have choresmany hands make work light

accept appropriate limits set by parents

accept discipline as a learning experience

Parents who have control over their children have respectful and responsible children. How do they do it? They show a lot of love, they are interested in and involved with their children, and they encourage a good self concept.

These qualities in young people are much needed today in our society, but they also teach them how to love and reverence God.

FAMILY FIGHTS

I. THE CAUSE OF FAMILY FIGHTS:

1) RELIGION-Cain killed Abel Gen 4:4 5 And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Luke 12:51 53 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

2) PROPERTY-Jacob and Esau Gen 27:41 And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.

3) PARENTS-Joseph and Brethren Gen 37:3 4 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

4) PRIDE- Jesus and Family Mark 3:20 21 Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

5) POWER-David and Absalom 2 Sam 15:6 And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

II. THE CURE FOR FAMILY FIGHTS:

1) Accept Christ as Savior (Jesus’ Brothers became Leaders in Church after they came to believe on Christ). You will be surprised how a heart change will affect your attitude toward others.

2) Follow Christ as Lord- Die to yourself and your ambitions. Seek only to have and do those things that please the Father.

3) Look beyond this World- Luke 12:13 15 And one of the company said unto him, Master, speak to my brother, that he divide the inheritance with me. And he said unto him, Man, who made me a judge or a divider over you? And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. Don’t destroy relationships and testimony for a world that will be consumed by fire one day.

4) Realize that the most difficult person to live with is someone who sees all your warts!! – Luke 4:24 And he said, Verily, I say unto you, No prophet is accepted in his own country. Don’t let familiarity breed contempt. Learn to treat family with the same respect you show friends and customers.

Don’t lose heart. God has a plan- Mal 4:5 6 Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.

TWELVE RULES FOR RAISING A JUVENILE DELINQUENT

1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything they want, In this way they will grow up to believe the world owes them a living.

2. When they pick up bad words, laugh at him/her. This will make them think they are cute.It will also encourage him to pick up “cuter” phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3. Never give them any spiritual training. Wait until they are 21, then let them decide for themselves.

4. Pick up everything they leave lying around; books, shoes and clothes. Do everything for them so that they will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.

5. Quarrel loudly and threaten violence with your spouse, neighbors and friends in the child’s presence…..in this way they will learn to make problems worse instead of better.

6. Avoid use of the word “Wrong”. It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

7. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

8. Give the child all the spending money they want. Never let them earn their own. Why should they have things a tough as you had them.

9. Satisfy their every craving for food, drink and comfort. Denial may lead to frustrations.

10. Take the child’s part against neighbors, teachers and police. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11. When they get into trouble, apologize for yourself by saying: “I never could do anything with them.”

12. Prepare for plenty of headaches. You are sure to have them.

(Prepared by the police Department in Houston, Texas)

GOALS OF CHRISTIAN PARENTS FOR THEIR CHILDREN

SEVERAL PRINCIPLES TO REMEMBER ABOUT PARENTS AND CHILDREN:

1) Children are a gift to Parents from the Lord- (Psa 127:3) Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. A Gift brings both Joy and Responsibility.

2) The Chief Responsibility of parents is the teaching and training of their children- (Deu 6:6 7)And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: {7} And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

(Eph 6:4) And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Bring them to Church at an early age- (Deu 31:12 13) Gather the people together, men, and women, and children, and thy stranger that is within thy gates, that they may hear, and that they may learn, and fear the LORD your God, and observe to do all the words of this law: {13} And that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the LORD your God, as long as ye live in the land whither ye go over Jordan to possess it. (See also Neh 8:1-3)

3) Parents are expected to administer corrective discipline to their Children- (Prov 19:18)Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (Prov 22:15) Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Prov 23:13 14) Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

4) Parents are to plan for the future of their children- (Prov 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (2 Cor 12:14) …the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.

SOME GOALS FOR YOUR CHILD:

1) Salvation- (2 Tim 3:15) And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

2) A Daily Fellowship with God

3) A core of Inner Joy

4) Mentally Stable and Psychologically normal (Remember that Teenagers express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike!).

5) Respects Authority- Parental, Political, Spiritual (Prov 30:17) The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

6) Social Aptitudes- Able to handle money, job, health, friends, socials living, entertainment, etc

7) Produce Divine good with life- Gold, silver, and precious stones instead of wood, hay, and stubble.

8) Victory over sin patterns in their life/ Character build on Bible Patterns

9) Ability to love and to be loved/ Marry right and forever.

10) Develop Mentally, Physically, Spiritually, and Socially- (Luke 2:52) And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they are very good at imitating them. And, if it makes you feel any better, A man once said, “I have two wonderful children- and two out of five isn’t too bad!”

10 WAYS TO SAFEGUARD YOUR FAMILY

We are living in difficult times. Families are Fracturing at an alarming rate. Not only is divorce on the increase in society in general but it is also on the increase among Church members. And divorce is no longer confined to those in their first five years of marriage; it is showing an amazing increasing among those who have been married for 20 years or more! The family is under attack; and, in many cases, we appear to be losing the battle!

USA TODAY (Monday, Feb 1, 1999)- Couples who live together before marriage are about 48% more likely to divorce than those who don’t, says the author of a new review of research on cohabitation. Despite what some couples may think, the overwhelming implication is that “living together is not a good way to prepare for marriage or to avoid divorce,” says study co-author David Popenoe, a Rutgers University sociologist. The report comes as the trend of living together soars. By 1998, the number of unmarried U.S. couples topped 4,236,000 up from 439,000 in 1960, according to the Census Bureau

Schools are Dangerous THEY TOOK PRAYER OUT OF SCHOOL AND NOW OUR CHILDREN DON’T HAVE A PRAYER! Parents fear to send their children to School because they fear that Guns, Governmental sponsored Humanistic teaching, or Generational pressures will kill their children in either body, mind, or soul.

The More we give our family the less they appreciate what they have! The “Misery Index” and the “Money Index” increase together so that no matter how hard you work to provide for your family it never seems to be enough. Your family blames you for not providing everything they can imagine and so you work as hard as you can so that Society can blame you when your children go wrong by saying you were so busy until you did not spend enough time with your family!

Sometimes you feel like throwing up your hands and quitting. The good news from God today is that there is Hope, and Help, for you- and for your family. Let me share with you 10 Guidelines that will enable you to safeguard your family against the attack being launched against them by the World, by Satan, and by Society.

FIRST: Accept Christ as YOUR personal Savior(Acts 16:30 31) (The Jailor) said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. You will never make a difference in your family until God makes a difference in your life. Give your heart to God; and then give your family to God! Claim them all for Christ and give God no rest (Is 62:7) until they are all in the ark of safety.

SECOND: Make it your GOAL to lead your children to Trust Christ at an early age (Mat 19:14) But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. Don’t leave the salvation of your children and your family to chance. Bring them before God in prayer. Tell them how wonderful God is to you. Make sure each member of your family knows HOW to be saved. Invite the preacher, revival speakers, and missionaries to your home for meals and fellowship.

THIRD: Put the Word of God in your Heart, your Home, and Your Habits(Deu 6:6 9) And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. The word of God is Pure (Ps 119:9), Powerful (Heb 4:12), and Precious (2 Pet 1:4). Let your family know it is your guide and your confidence as you base your decisions in life on its instructions.

FOURTH: Follow God’s CHAIN OF COMMAND- GOD, FATHER, MOTHER. CHILDREN. Women are wonderful but their tender heart allows them to be easily swayed by Satan=s strategy (Eve). Children are a joy but woe is the home in which they rule (Prov 29:15). The collapse of the family in recent days can be directly traced to the time when men, women, and children decided to replace God.s order with a man made order.

FIFTH: Encourage your Family to be ACTIVELY involved in God’s Work. Something will fill your family’s time. You can allow that something to be TV, Video games, Social Events, or worldly companions, or you can lead your family to become involved in eternity enterprises.

SIXTH: Avoid Oprah type TV Shows and most Women’s Magazine like the most deadly plague. They are based on Humanistic teaching or man made philosophies and a “little leaven corrupts the entire loaf of bread” (I Cor 5:6). Make sure that the things that guide the walk and talk of your family are things that lead them to live right and talk right.

SEVENTH: Learn and teach the PERMANENT PRINCIPLES OF PROVERBS. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs. Read and study the one that corresponds to the day of the month. Proverbs gives guidelines about Wisdom, Work, Women, Wealth, Wine, Wickedness, Words, Ways of men, Worry, and Wastefulness. These are principles your family needs to know.

EIGHTH: Make a Public Stand for Right and Righteousness(Josh 24:15) And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. Lot allowed his wife and children to drag him into Sodom where his righteous soul was “vexed” every day (2 Pet 2:7) with the lifestyle of this wicked city. Because Lot would not make a stand for the right he ended up having no influence for God with those in the city, with his children, or with his wife. Ten righteous men would have saved the city, and Lot’s family, but Lot was so busy building a home (that God was going to burn down) until he never made a stand.

NINTH: Keep your Home “Snake Free” We had a snake problem in our parsonage in Florida as snakes came into our house through a hidden hole in a closet. It was not a situation we found enjoyable! Yet, it amazes me to see how many people allow snakes to invade their home every day via TV, Music, Books, Games, etc. Adam found out that Paradise can turn into thorns, sweat, and broken fellowship with God when snakes come to visit. Don’t invite them into your home.

FINALLYTrust God to Care for your Family(Mat 18:10) Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven. You can’t be everywhere; and you can’t control other people who are being guided by Self, Society’s values, or Satan. But God has made promises to the members of HIS family about His care for their family. And He has promised you can trust Him to do right-(1 Pet 5:7) Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

God WANTS your family to be a part of His family in Heaven. He will help you to safeguard them if you will only follow His directions. Just remind yourself of something- When you come to death’s door, the only thing on earth you can carry with you to Heaven is the family that has been won to Christ! Arrange your priorities accordingly.

4 FOUNDATIONS TO BUILD A LIFE ON:

1) Your relationship to God Through Christ is the most important part of life.

2) Character is more important than CashWhat you are is more important than what you have.

Character is what you are when no one see what you are.

3) To Lose FAITH is to Lose Life- (1 Cor 15:19) If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.

4) Abundant Life is becoming what God has put into your Heart; not what others have put into your mind.

THERE IS A GRAVE DANGER IN ABANDONING FOUNDATIONS. Prov 10:14 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

A) Lot lost his Reputation, Family, and Possessions

B) When evil times come what will you have to hold you up (Jer 12:5) If thou hast run with the footmen, and they have wearied thee, then how canst thou contend with horses? and if in the land of peace, wherein thou trustedst, they wearied thee, then how wilt thou do in the swelling of Jordan?

A) TEACH HIM Family Worship

B) TRAIN HIM Prov 22:6

C) TOUCH HIM Physically, Mentally, Emotionally

D) TRUST HIM

Dealing with Family Problems

(Mal 4:5-6) Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: {6} And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. We want to be Covenant People; not people under the Curse.

Virtually everything we know about Christianity is pictured in the marriage relationship.

The quality of society in general will be no better than the homes of which it consists. Strong, Godly homes make strong churches, communities, states, and nations.

What is a Problem? The development of an unfavorable condition or circumstance in the family or individual life. If the Source or cause of the problem can be determined, progress can then be made toward a solution.

Surface Problems (Visible Behavior)

A) Husband:

1. Suspicious of wife

2. Extravagant with money

3. Unaffectionate toward wife

4. Forgetful of important events (Birthday, Anniversary)

5. Over Corrects the children

B) Wife

1. Unrestrained spending of money

2. Wears Immodest clothing

3. Nags at Husband

C) Children: (In Access)

1. Disobedient to Parents

2. Does not do well in School

3. Has Bad Habits

4. Chooses undesirable friends.

Deeper Problem

Extravagance- Lack of Self Worth- Buy Respect. Get Back at mate

Unaffectionate- Bitterness, No Preparation, Anger

Immodest Clothing- Getting Attention or Pride

Nags- Lack of Security causing the desire to change the other person so they will give you the security you seek. Seldom works.

Disobedience- Rebellious Heart, Disrespectful mind.

Failure in School- Fear, Insecurity, Bitterness, Rebellion

Chooses wrong Friends- Rebellion, Desire for acceptance

Root Problems are those abnormalities in the human spirit which give rise to unchristian attitudes which, in turn, produce unchristian behavior.

Evidences of Moral Impurity:

1. Appearance- Immodest Clothing. Impression of desire

2. Hands- Always want to physically touch opposite sex

3. Language- Double meanings. Interested in how “Cute” a person is instead of their character.

4. Eyes- The eyes spend time looking at what the heart enjoys seeing. The eyes are the gate to the heart- Danger zone.

5. Attitude- Impurity will defile your spirit- A person whose spirit is impure tends to reject normal standards and guidelines about modesty and purity.

Solving the Problems

1. Identify the Problem- Start with visible surface problems

2. Seek the Level of the Problem- If the surface problem continues to return that is an indication that the surface problem is only a symptom of a deeper problem

3. Confess the Problem to get at deeper root.

A) Confess by Name- (1 John 1:9-10) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. To God and Others who NEED to see your Confession Change

B) Confess Humbly with desire to change

1. “I was wrong, but you were too”- Reflects Pride and Bitterness toward the other person

2. “I’m sorry about it, but it wasn’t all my fault” Transfers Blame to other person

3. “I’m Sorry” – Unwilling to specify what offense is, won’t deal with problem

4. “If I’ve been wrong, please forgive me.” Actually saying, “If you think I have offended you, there must be something wrong with you ability to get along with others. But I will be bighearted about this and assume the blame for it although I really don’t think I was wrong!”.

Proper Confession about a problem will deal honestly with the issue.

1) Identify the Offense by Name.

2) Confess the wrong involved in the offense

3) Ask for forgiveness for the offense

4) Does not shift blame to others.

Not only does this work in Family Life; it is also the way to a proper relationship with God. Have you come to Him in honest confession of sin and asked for His forgiveness so He can make you a new creature?

A HUSBAND IS: Eph 5;22-33

1. A LEADER- I Cor 11:3 Set Goals- Anticipate that which has not happened- deal with/ avoid

Working Knowledge of God’s Word and Principles Deut 6:6

Must operate on Principles, not feelings

Must have Biblically based convictions

Must have a Servant’s heart- mk 10:42-44

2. A SAVIOR- Physical/Spiritual Protection- Dress, TV, Friends

3. A TEACHER- Sanctify Family by Teaching thru actions, attitudes

4. A LOVER

1. Eros- Sensual Desire- It denoted a love that was “self centered and grasping, seeking its own fleshly satisfaction.

2.Philia – The response of the human spirit to what appeals to it as pleasurable. This word is Used to describe the affection of friends,

3.Stergein – The love of parents for children and children for parents, etc. (Used negatively in the New Testament – astorgos,”without natural affection” (Rom 1:31; II Tim. 3:3)

4.Agape – The love of God produced in the heart of a person by the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.(cf. Rom. 5:5) This love is not an emotion, but a deliberate principle of life by which a person lives. It is not conditioned or affected by circumstances, character, or anything else, but loves in spite of them. (“Walk in love” Eph. 5:2)

A) The Character of Love:

1. Does 2. Does Not

a. Endure long a. Behave rudely

b. Act kindly b. Seek its own

c. Rejoice in truth c. Get easily provoked

d. Bear all things d. Think evil

e. Believe all things e Rejoice in iniquity

f. Hope all things f. Envy

g. Endure all things g. Get proud or puffed up

B) The Comparison of Love:

1. “as Christ loved the church” (v, 25)

2. “as their own bodies” (v. 28)

3. “as the Lord the church” (v, 29)

4. “even as himself” (v. 33)

C) The Central Quality of Love (“gave himself”)

D). The Expression of Love:

1. By telling – The communication of verbal love must be substantiated by practice to be effective.

2. By accepting – By putting the person at ease, especially about weaknesses he might have–education lack of talent, etc.

3. By fellowship – Love can be communicated by the willingness to spend time (quality) with a person.

4. By Talk- by listening to them talk. By talking about things they are interested in.

5. By compliment- Flattery, Praise

FAMILY BUILDING ACTIVITIES

O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! (Deut 5:29).

Tell your children how you and your spouse met and where you went on dates.
Plan, and then take a vacation together.
Memorize portions of the Bible together.
Each Parent should write a special note to each child every month and put it in a place the child will find it unexpectedly (like in their underwear drawer).
Pick a night each week in which no TV in the house will be turned on. Use that time to read a classic book (such as “Heidi”) to the Children or to put together a picture puzzle.
Pray as a family FOR each other and WITH each other each day.
Eat Supper together as a family at least two nights each week, Designate a different person in the family each week to pick the menu for one of these meals.
Say POSITIVE things about your church and its leaders to your family each week.
Spend a night looking through old photos and putting them in albums
Do something as a family for someone in need.
Have a question and answer time as a family at least once per month
Call or text your husband, wife, or children sometime just to say “I am thinking of you and hope you are having a good day”.
Praise your spouse or children in their presence to someone else.
Have a clean out the closets day and then use the money from the family yard sale to do a family voted on activity.
Make sure each person in your family knows how to become part of God’s family.
Give each family member a hug for 21 days in a row (That develops a habit)
Sit together as a family in church
Go out to breakfast as a family one Saturday each month
Compile your family tree and teach your children the history of your ancestors
Write your testimony and place it in the family Bible so it is available to everyone.

Your family will work if you work with your family. Make it a priority.

GETTING A WIFE

I read recently of a man who put a sign by his mail box that read, “Wife Wanted”. Seemed like a pretty poor idea until I looked as some ways people obtained wives in the Bible.

1. Purchase a piece of property and get a wife as part of the deal. –Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. –The Prophet Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. –Moses (Ex 2:16-21)

4. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. –Deuteronomy 21:11-13

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. –Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a … woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” –Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place.–Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Have a husband killed in battle and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons however.) –David (2 Samuel 11)

9. Wait for your brother to die. Then take his wife. –Onan (Gen 38:8. See Deut 25:5-6). [Remember, however, that Herod was condemned by John the Baptist for “taking” his half-brother’s wife- Mark 6:17-18]

10. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this one will cost you a rib. –Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

Just goes to show that people sometimes get married for various and strange reasons. My advice, however, is that you pray that God would lead you to the one God has for you. That way you will know she is the right one for you who will be an helpmate for the journey instead of a heartache for life -(Prov 18:22) Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Wives need from their husbands:

1. Security

– Recognize this basic need

– Be consistently supportive

– Be present at crucial times

– Act wisely in solving family problems

– Talk to her about simple everyday matters

– Seek to know her–really know her–so he can meet her needse.g.If she lacked love as a child, she may need a doubledose of affection.If she came from a poor family, shemay become-a spendthrift.

– A good husband will seek to fulfill his responsibilitiesrather than insist on being pampered constantly.

2. Thoughtfulness- (Does this involve expensive gifts, a nice home, car?)

Suggestions that are not costly:

– Be thoughtful in little things–it goes a long way.

– Bring home-an occasional surprise such as a favorite candy bar, a card, a book

– Remember her on special occasions

– Give her a break from the children

– Help around the house if she is under a lot of stress

– Be considerate of her likes and dislikese.g. If she fishes with you even though she doesn’t like fishing,- do something with her that she enjoys.

– Find ways to praise her for things she does well

– Let her feel needed as a part of your life

3. Leadership in the Home

– As a leader the husband must plan, make decisions, organize, delegate authority and supervise activity.

– Be more than a spectator in the home who watches and reactsto what is happening. When this happens he loses control and becomes frustrated and critical. Then it becomes easier to work late or have other things to do away from home.

– It’s important to sit down with his wife to plan a budget, plan social activities. Most important of all he should plan spiritual activities, taking the leading role.

(Side note:He can’t do this when he comes home, reads thepaper, eats and then watches TV until bedtime)

4. To have children and provide them with a good environment.

– A sensitive husband will do all he can to keep the house maintained.

5. Love(not in order of importance), Eph. 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also lovedthe church, and gave himself for it.”

Just as instructions to wives to be submissive to husbands is unconditional, husbands are to love their wives unconditionally. This means their love is not based on whether their wife is; beautiful, a good homemaker, or a Christian.

He should look out for her physical well being, even if it means he sacrifices or gives his own life to protect her. He will do what he can to provide his wife’s needs and desires. Love is more than a feeling; it is a mental attitude that prevails. Love is meeting needs.

Jesus’ love for the church is the example to follow.

VALUE OF FAMILY

See the ministry of John the Baptist-

Mal 4:6, and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers, lest i come and smite the earth with a curse.

Luke 1:17 and he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the lord.

James Dobson “Advice to Adolescences”

1. Feeling of Inferiority

A) Ugly

B) Dumb

C) Unloved

2. Conformity

3. Meaning of Love

4. Strain between Generations

5. Search for Identity

6. Puberty- Masturbation

Harmful if- Associated with Guilt

Practiced in a Group

Continued into Marriage

10 Problems in Marriage:

1. Absence of Romantic Love in Marriage

2. In-Law Conflict

3. Low Self Esteem

4. Problems with the Children

5. Financial Difficulties

6. Sexual Problems in Marriage

7. Menstrual and Physiological Problems

8. Loneliness, Isolation, Boredom

9. Fatigue and Time Pressure

10. Aging

REJOICING AS A FAMILY

Theme Verse: Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee? (Psalms 85:6)

When questioned about His Family here is what God might say, “I am not as happy with my family as I want to be. My children disobey my orders, disgrace my name, and spend a lot of time hurting each other instead of helping each other. I told them how to live so it would bring Joy to them and to me but they just do not listen very well.”

Remember the Plan for the Family: Gen 2:18-25 God saw that it was NOT GOOD for man to be alone. A man, a woman (no Homosexual), and the children God gives them (No Abortion). The Man was given a garden to grow and guard. The woman was given to meet emotional and physical needs that NOTHING else could provide.
Look at the Principles for Raising Children: Luke 2:39‑5 Parents are puzzled about how to raise their children for the Lord and they wish they had a “Guide Book” to help them. The Bible has a lot of Principles that will help the Parent make the right decisions but the greatest Example is that of the Lord Jesus himself.

A few Observations:

The proper place (location) for the child is important- God wanted Christ raised in Nazareth, not Jerusalem or Bethlehem, so He arranged for him to be driven to Egypt and then back to Nazareth. Do you pray about WHERE and HOW you live?? Do you think it’s more important to let the Child have the latest toys instead of your care and attention?
Financial security is not necessary for proper growth- a) the offering Mary and Joseph gave when Jesus was presented at the Temple was the least expensive one, indicating the poverty of the family. b) A carpenter is a small town such as Nazareth would not make much. c) Joseph is not mentioned after Christ is 12 so we assume he died before Christ was 30 and the family lost it’s main “bread winner”.
Godly Living by the Parents is needful: a) his parents went to Jerusalem each year for the Passover (vs 41). b) Mary was called “Highly favored” by the angel (1:28), c) Joseph was called a “just” man (Mt 1:19).

Jesus BEFORE 12 vs 40 He grew, waxed strong in spirit, was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon him.

Grew- Proper food, exercise, home care, etc.
Waxed strong in Spirit- He knew the Word and Will of God vs 49
Filled with Wisdom- Educated (Jesus knew at least 3 languages: He read from Hebrew scrolls, talked in Aramaic, and held a conversation with Pilate in Greek).
Grace of God was upon him- God helped his parents raise Him!!

JESUS AT 12- He had had his Bar Mitzvah and was now a “Son of the Law”. This meant he was now to take an active part in discussing the scriptures.

–He was interested in learning from the scholars at the temple

–His understanding astonished the doctors at the temple

–He realized at this early age the need of being about the Father’s business.

(He was so usually obedient that his parents just assumed he was with them in the crowd when they left Jerusalem.

JESUS FROM 12‑30 He lived in Nazareth and was subject to his Parents (Even though they did not have as clear an understanding of His purpose as He did !!!). He increased in:

1. Wisdom- Mental Maturity (Paid attention to what He saw- Studied)

2. Stature- Physical maturity (Played, worked, etc)

3. Favor with God- Spiritual Maturity. Studied the Word; it was needed in His Heart when he began his ministry and he was tempted. He was regular in “Church” (Luke 4:16)

4 Favor with man- Social Maturity (able to “mingle” with people. His first miracle was at a Wedding feast. He often had “fellowship suppers with friends and disciples)

HOUSE BLESSINGS

We come to you today in the Name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the most High God, who came to earth in the flesh, who did mighty works in the power and anointing of God, who died to pay our sin debt, and who was resurrected from the dead where He is now at the right hand of the Father making intercession for His people and planning His soon return to earth where He will reign as King of Kings.

We come to you acknowledging our sins and short comings and asking for your mercy and forgiveness. We realize that Satan attempted to defeat Jesus through personal gratification, prideful boasting, and the promise of profit and we denounce the hold that any of these things may have over our actions today. We claim no personal authority or power but by faith we make our prayers today according to the assurance of Jesus Christ when He said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it. (John 14:12-14)

Based on this promise from the Son of God:

– We rebuke any hold that Satan may have over this house and those who dwell here using the example of the Word of God which declared, And the LORD said unto Satan, The LORD rebuke thee, O Satan; even the LORD that hath chosen Jerusalem rebuke thee: is not this a brand plucked out of the fire? (Zechariah 3:2)

– We command any foul spirit of perversion, persecution, or confusion to depart from this Home using the example of Jesus who rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour. (Matt 17:18)

– Finally, we call on God to bring Peace and Prosperity to this home and those who serve God within this home – The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)

Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all (2Th 3:16)

HUSBAND RESOLUTIONS

I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.

I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.

I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. —Joshua 24:15

DUTIES OF A DAD Miracle Message for Wednesday, June 12, 1991

A Dad had a lot of responsibilities in life- earning an income, teaching his children to play ball, and taking out the garbage! With his Responsibilities also come some duties.

1. Begin a new Household– “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen 2:24). That’s why the wife changes her last name; because the two individuals now form one household. That’s why married couples should not live in the same house as their parents. That’s why we would do well to spend less money on Weddings and more on Marriage.

2. Train His Children in Spiritual Principles– “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deu 6:6-7). The Husband is the Priest of the Household and should take the leadership in training the children in the ways of the Lord. Just like you take time to teach them to hit a ball or learn to fish so you should take time to teach them the Word of God and make spiritual applications to real life situations. Discipline them but do not Discourage them- Col 3:21

The mother bears the Children, the father bears the responsibility for training them. Both are hard, but necessary, obligations.

GREAT TRUTHS

ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED

1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.

8. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

9. School lunches stick to the wall.

10. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

11. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

1. Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.

2. There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

3. Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

4. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere…and let the air out of their tires.

5. Families are like fudge…mostly sweet with a few nuts.

6. Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

7. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

8. If you can remain calm, you don’t have all the facts.

9. Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

10. You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

ABOUT HIM VERSUS HER:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Any married man should forget his mistakes – there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman: before marriage and after marriage.

Ad seen in the The New York Times last week… FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

It is easy to pick on women but remember this- the man who found “more bitter than death the woman” ended up with “seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines”. It is sometimes hard to live with them but always hard to live without them!

HERITAGE

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward (Psalms 127:3).

When you pass on what will you pass on? A heritage is described as something passed from one generation to another. What kind of heritage should fathers give to the next generation?

Fathers are commanded to impart a heritage of godly wisdom– And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Developing character takes time but it is worth the investment.

A Father should impart a heritage of walking with God– These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God (Genesis 6:9).

Fathers should convey a heritage of godly wealth to their children– Wherefore it shall come to pass, if ye hearken to these judgments, and keep, and do them, that the LORD thy God shall keep unto thee the covenant and the mercy which he sware unto thy fathers: And he will love thee, and bless thee, and multiply thee: he will also bless the fruit of thy womb, and the fruit of thy land, thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep, in the land which he sware unto thy fathers to give thee (Deuteronomy 7:12-13). Teaching your children that real wealth comes from a relationship with God is priceless.

A Father should impart a heritage of Working for God:

A Father should impart a heritage of Waiting before God in prayer for his family–

MEN WHO MADE A MARK

Have you ever been in the middle of a wonderful daydream in which you were saving the world and everyone thought you were the best of the best because of your courage and skill- and about that time your wife called and scolded you because you had not taken out the garbage! Most of us are just plain people who go through life without much chance of being heroes or famous. I want to look at some men in the Bible today who made a mark for God and see if we cant be that same kind of person.

1) Enoch was a man who was known for his walk with God. Walk here is a word meaning Manner of life or Character.Do you know someone in the community who impresses you with their consistent Christian Character? What do people say about your Christian walk?

2) Abraham was a man known for being the Friend of God-Jas 2:23 And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God. Abraham was Gods Friend because of his willingness to trust Gods promises and Gods plan for his life. Do you know someone who stands out as a person of faith and confidence in God? You are either known as the friend of God or the friend of the world- which are you?

3) David was a man who touched the heart of God-Ac 13:22 And when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will.

Because Davids heart and Gods heart were so intertwined David wrote songs and poems that show very clearly the range of emotions felt by God and man in their relationship. Do you know anyone who is able to express by song or words the very heart of God and help you to really understand how much God cares about the innermost part of your life? Is God in your Heart as well as in your head? Do people in the community know you for your songs of praise to God or for your gossip or grumbling?

4) Finally, I want to look at Noah. Noah was probably a pretty good fellow but we know little about his character. He did not walk with God in the same way Enoch did. He was not called the friend of God because of his faith like Abraham. And, as far as we know, he never sang a song or wrote a poem like David. Noahs claim to fame is that he found grace in the eyes of the Lord. Grace in unmerited Favor. Noah did not deserve anything but God gave it to him anyway!!My kind of man!

Here is how that worked in the life of Noah: “By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith” (Hebrews 11:7).

Noah’s motivation: Fear of God’s coming judgment. (God’s declaration provided motivation)

Noah’s work: Prepare an ark. (Faith led to works)

Noah’s goal: the saving of his house. (He warned the world but he built a refuge for his family)

Noah’s witness: by the which he condemned the world. (A drowning world could not fault Noah)

Noah’s reward: Became an heir of the righteousness which is by faith. (Joining God on earth meant he got to join God for eternity in heaven!)

You can exhaust yourself really really trying to do your best or you can join God at His work and enjoy the fact the you and God are making a world changing difference.

SEX STANDARDS

I believe that the need of intimacy was recognized from the very beginning by God and He immediately made provision for the man by providing him a wife. I believe that God instituted intimacy as something to be enjoyed within the boundaries of a Marriage relationship. I believe that if a man and woman marry and then follow the sexual guidelines listed in the Word of God this will lead to complete fulfillment sexually, physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially.

I believe that sexual relationships outside of a marriage commitment are wrong in any generation and in any culture- Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4). I believe that Marriage is a public commitment made by a man and a woman for the fulfillment of God’s plan for their life. I believe that if a man or woman is not willing to make such a commitment then living together will not correct the flaw or justify the wrong before God. I believe that Marriage should be a lifelong commitment of faithfulness and fidelity between a man and woman to care for each other, “until death do us part”.

I believe that pornography, perversion, pedophilia, and prostitution are wrong- For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. (Romans 1:26-27). There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel. (Deuteronomy 23:17).

I believe that sexually acts in marriage should be mutually agreed upon and regularly engaged in. This is because Regular Sex within a marriage:

Avoids the Temptation for Sex outside of Marriage- Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband(1 Corinthians 7:2).
Provides a bond of blessing – Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence (Conjugal duties): and likewise also the wife unto the husband (1 Corinthians 7:3).
Is not to be used as a method of blackmail, rewards, or control- The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. (1 Corinthians 7:4).
Is a means of expressing obedience to God and resistance to Satan- Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

Society today has determined to use sexual titillation as a means to sell products, get viewers for TV programs and Movies, and appeal to the baser instincts of the human animal. If you fall into the sexual trap it will destroy your health, your home, and your holiness. Within the boundaries set by God Sex is a great friend. Outside those boundaries it is a ferocious foe. And every day you must make the choice about which side of the fence you will walk on.

INTIMACY ISSUES

Intimacy should involve two opposites- Not self-love and not the same gender.
Intimacy needs preparation- Day actions determine night attitudes.
Intimacy is a fire which is fueled by tender touches and warm words. One result of intimacy is to “Know” your partner: And Adam knew Eve his wife; (Genesis 4:1).Dogs can have sex but only humans can make love.
Intimacy should be enjoyable to both parties- It should not be rape, required, or routine. It should not be bribery, blackmail, or begrudging. The result of intimacy should be deeper feelings of love and care as two become one.

Realizing more babies are born in July or August than in any other months; 9 months before these months may be time to share some things about “beginning of life”.

BIBLICAL SEX GUIDELINES:

God is on board: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: (Genesis 1:28).
Marriage matters: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4). Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD (Proverbs 18:22).
Enjoyment is good: Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. (Proverbs 5:18-19).
Regular is righteous: Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (1 Corinthians 7:5).
Praise is profitable: A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi. Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes. Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green (Song of Solomon 1:13-16). Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon (Song of Solomon 4:11).
Education is encouraged: The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:3-5).

SINGLE AGAIN

Like being a tennis player on a baseball field!!! What are some ways we can help those who are “Single Again”?

A support group called “Single Support” for Fellowship, Information, etc. This would allow Widows to “baby sit” for younger women while they took care of necessary business; (giving the widows $, the sense of being needed, someone to love, etc.) It would allow members to “pool” information on lawyers, problems, etc. and also providesome answers about “normal” household problems that overwhelm peopleat first (How do you balance a checkbook?Who do you call when the car or air conditioner breaks down?)

Spiritually, provide information, inspiration, and involvement in the work of the Lord. Help the person begin and maintain a daily devotion for themselves and their children, give them Biblical help in difficult areas, integratethem into the work of the Church so they would be “normal”.

3 methods of becoming “single again”

1) Divorce (When is it right?? How do I keep it from being so “messy”? Where can I find a good lawyer that wants to help meinstead of profit from me?? What are my rights about child support…visitation…??

2) Death (Why my husband/wife?? Why Now???)

3) Desertion (Why am I “unloveable”? Can I ever really trust anyone again?? What could I have done different???)

Must learn to cope with:

a. Money- or the lack thereof

b. Memory- that flood you at the strangest times

c. Multitudes of “simple” problems that are not so simple.

Need:

1. Counsel that’s private and dependable

2. Companionship that’s friendly without being “pushy”

3. Christ for the foundation to build on and lean on.

How do you raise children as a “single parent”? Who supplies the missing input from the missing husband/wife?? Who provides the “break time” to go shopping, take care of work, or just relax for the missing husband/wife?? Who helps you decide about discipline problems, dating problems, or household duties problems?? How do you keep from becoming “overly” attached to your children so that you make them a “substitute” husband/wife for your affection??

TEEN TRUTHS

5 TEEN TRUTHS THAT CAN CHANGE LIVES:

1) Be Careful of your Friends- Friends change your life. Psalm 1: The way you talk, think, and act. Dan 2: They can elevate or destroy you.

2) Goals give your life purpose. What do you want to do with your life?.

3) If you do not manage money then money will master you

4) God made you to be you; a unique part of the body of Christ. An arm never feels comfortable being a foot. Each person is different

5) You will never find the peace you are seeking until you are at peace with God

The Three Major Decisions in a person’s life are “normally” made by the time they are 25:

1) Their decision about a relationship with God [I was born again on Monday, March 19, 1962 at age 14].

2) Their decision about a life occupation [I was licensed to preach on Sunday, April 15, 1962 at age 14].

3) Their decision about a life mate [I married the prettiest girl in the world {The Lovely Princess Paula} on Friday, February 6, 1970 at age 22]. (Interestingly, all three events happened at New Prospect FWB Church in Shimbonealley, SC).

DO I NEED TO STRESS TO YOU HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO PRAY FOR, AND SUPPORT, THE CHILDREN AND YOUTH MINISTRIES OF YOUR CHURCH

VALUES TO GUIDE YOU

Do as your Parents say- If You Put your feet under my table, You will do as I say.
You are who you are seen with- lay down with dogs get up with fleas
Make your bed hard; lie in it
If a dog bites you once it is his fault. If he bites your twice it is your fault. Do not make the same mistake twice.
Pretty is as pretty does (inner beauty)
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
You are responsible for you- no excuses
A man is only as good as his word
Think before you speak
A bird can fly over your head but you do not let him build a nest there- nip it in the bud
Grandmothers passed Bible down to each generation of grandchildren
Reach Christmas story before opening gifts
The truth will stand when the world is on fire- tell the truth because one lie leads to another
Lead by example (role model)
Make do with what you have- Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.

WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME

What is Waiting for you at Home because of your Actions and Attitude. [Example- You can Buy a house for a good price to man but he wants to retain ownership of one nail in the house. Soon he comes back and hangs a dead cat on that nail; and soon you must leave that house because of his ownership of one nail!!]

Your mistakes: A daughter to be sacrificed because of a foolish vow- Jephthah’s foolish vow that cost him his daughter (Judges 11:30-40).
The Consequences of your sins: A son to die because of sinful behavior- Jeroboam’s son died when his mother’s foot passed over the threshold after she went to inquire of the prophet Ahijah (I Kings 14:).
Salvation for your family: A family to be saved- Philippians Jailor’s family in Acts 16:

What your home needs:

Blood on the Door Post because you trust in God’s pardon through Christ
Christ on the Throne because you submit to His authority in your life, your marriage, and the way you raise your family
Satan not invited into your home through the eyes (TV), the ears (Music), or the mouth (Harsh words about family members or others).

WINNING FAMILY MEMBERS TO CHRIST

(Acts 16:30) … and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.

When I got saved I believed it was something that ought to happen to everyone in my family! Thankfully, with this belief in mind, my mother, my father, and my brothers (and their wives) were all saved. Then I married a wife. All of her family (including husbands of her sisters and wife of her brother) are now Christians. Four principles led to this happy conclusion.

1) Determination of Objective– I did not want my family to do better so I could have a good family. I realized my family was bound for an eternity in the flames of hell and I did not want that to happen! I did not just want them to start going to church to make me happy. I wanted them to repent of sins, trust Jesus Christ as Savior, and know the joy I knew as a Christian. Your goal must not simply be for them to be “Better”. It must be for them to be Born Again.

2) Desire of heart– You must long for their salvation so greatly until it deprives you of food and drives you to your knees every day. If their lostness does not break YOUR heart then it will not break their heart.

3) Demonstration of Christ– Your life must be consistent and Christ like. You can’t walk and talk wrong in your life and expect your family to desire to change their life to what you have. You can’t have fried preacher for dinner on Sunday and expect your family to trust what that preacher tells them about becoming a child of God.

4) Declaration of the Gospel– Reprimanding their wrongs will not save them. Quarreling, crying, and sighing will not save them. The good news of forgiveness in Christ must be plainly presented.

Give God no rest (Is 62:7) until everyone in your family is safely in the ark of Salvation. Make it your main mission.